


I Think I'm In Love With You

by thecoloursinthegravel



Series: The Preposterous Notion Of Falling In Love [2]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Love, M/M, Times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:31:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8098756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecoloursinthegravel/pseuds/thecoloursinthegravel
Summary: The room was spinning but I was giddy and I knew if I needed something to focus on, I could just look at you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> You don't need to read the first part of this series for this to make sense but if you're interested in reading both, I'd highly recommend reading the first one first to get the full effect! Hope you enjoy!

The first time that I thought it, we were in a dingy, sort of run down, old hotel. We were bored and trying to pass the time and you can’t ever just play a regular bloody card game can you? So naturally, we were playing a drinking game. At four o’clock in the afternoon. On a Tuesday.

And for some inexplicable reason I wanted to keep losing. And I wanted you to get it wrong, too. For some odd reason I wanted to get you and me as drunk as possible. I wanted you to be a giggling mess like you always are and I wanted that strange surge of confidence and joy. And I would never say this aloud, but I think, though I wasn’t thinking at the time, that I wanted you to be drunk because I know how you get. You get all hands when you’re drunk and I promise, I swear to you, I would never have taken advantage. But I had this distant feeling that I _wanted_ you, and at least if you were touching me I could feel like you wanted me too. I just wanted a taste – I swear I never would have taken a real bite.

Then the time came and we were so gone. The room was spinning but I was giddy and I knew if I needed something to focus on, I could just look at you. You pressed your forehead up against mine and I think you started to sing the alphabet? I can’t remember for the life of me why but to be honest that’s mainly because I hadn’t really been listening to your drunken ramblings for a while by now. And trust me, it wasn’t out of choice; I could listen to you talk for hours. It was because your lips were an inch away from mine and our noses were almost touching and your dark eyes looked more beautiful than I could ever hope to describe with words. You made me a stupid, bumbling mess of a cliché of a person and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from you for a second. I wanted, I wanted so, so badly to kiss you. _God,_ I could have kissed you and kissed you and kissed you and I’m glad I didn’t. Because otherwise, I don’t think I’d have ever stopped.

Then I snapped out of my delirious state just in time to hear you say “tell me a secret”. And I responded with “you’re my best friend” when what I really wanted to say was: “I think I’m in love with you”.

 

\--

 

The next time I thought it we were at a party. Drunk. Again. Come to think of it I suppose that makes a lot of sense. That I needed to be drunk to even allow myself the chance to think about it. About you. And how I-

I’m rambling. Sorry. I know how I do that so often when you’re around. In fact, I suppose I ramble whenever I even think of you. So I guess that I might as well just face the fact that I ramble all the bloody time, don’t I? See! Even now! I don’t know how you put up with me. I don’t know why you ever did.

But the party… I don’t think I said a word all night. I was just in a shocked awe, watching you move with every inch of your body. You moved around the room like you owned it; you danced with this carefree lack of grace and delicacy that just _worked_. You were wearing that plaid shirt again. God I love it when you wear that plaid shirt.

Then I did the most stupid thing. You were standing in front of me and your eyes were so unbelievably rich and beautiful and all I wanted to do was be consumed by your stare all night.

And then.

Then I saw those lips. Oh wow. I couldn’t get over it – they were so plump and pretty and oh oh _please_ I just wanted to kiss them. Kiss you. And I’m so fucking stupid because then I grabbed you by the back of your neck and kissed you like my life depended on it. I ran my hands through your hair and you kissed back with a delicate pressure that make me want to cry with joy.

Then I started thinking. No no no no _no no NO_ what the fuck was I doing? You’re Tyler, I’m Josh, we’re best friends, we don’t – we shouldn’t- Oh man I messed this up, I ruined this, I ruined _everything_.

So I pulled away and started on my stream of apologies filled with anxious gasps for air. You gently put your hands on my shoulders and told me “It’s okay Josh, it’s all okay. Everything is okay. I’m here, it’s okay,” until I started breathing right again and my apologies trailed off from unintelligible mumblings to silence.

When I looked back up into your eyes, with tears filling mine, I couldn’t see a trace of disgust or disappointment. All I could see was you, and the kind, albeit slightly concerned, warmth of those deep, deep brown eyes.

And then you asked me “do you think you’re okay to walk?” and I just nodded because I couldn’t trust myself to say anything else. Because the only words that wanted to leave my mouth in that moment were “I think I’m in love with you”.

 

\--

 

The third time I thought it, oh boy, what a silly time to think such a thing. But we were on the phone and you were giggling and laughing and hiccupping your way through a sentence and I couldn’t tell you a more beautiful sound if my life depended on it. It felt like my life depended on you never stopping. I thought, surely I’d die if I were never to hear that sound again. I know I’m just being dramatic but I’m telling you Tyler- the sound of your laugh made me feel whole. It’s so bright and joyful and full of drops of golden sunshine and so many other sappy things I could make a list. It’s pure and alive and happy happy, proper happy, breathing in the light happy. It’s hot toes dipped in cool sea and fluffy scarves on chilly days. Your laugh is breathless, breath-taking, happy-making, singing, smiling _joy_ and I fucking love y-

It. I love it.

I thought about that phone call for days after. Actually I suppose it’s pretty obvious by now that I still do. But could you blame me? If you could hear what I heard, I’m telling you Tyler, you’d understand.

 

\--

 

Now here I am. We’re meeting each other soon and I’m so, incredibly, oddly… excited? Why I should be so excited I don’t know. It’s just you. It’s just lunch.

But it’s never been “just” you, has it? You’ve never been anything so simple to justify the use of the word. How can you be “just” anything? You keep me up at night, you wake me up in the morning. You make me cry, Tyler Joseph. You make me smile until my face hurts and you make me laugh with giddy joy. And sometimes you make me so so scared because what would I do if I lost you? I don’t think I could breathe without you.

I can’t wait to see you, Tyler.

I don’t know if you can tell, but I’ve been thinking about a lot of things recently.

And man oh man if there’s anything I’ve ever thought so often,

It’s that I should stop pretending to not absolutely know, with complete certainty, that I am undeniably in love with you.

 

 

 

 

                  


End file.
